an open letter to my good friend.
I want you to know I noticed something today. I noticed when we visited for a short time today that you are hurting and frustrated. You let me in…just a smidgin… and maybe unwittingly but none the less I could see the frustration that you don’t allow many to see. I want you to know that although i would never call you on it in public… I saw it, and it broke my heart.
The big question is, “What the heck?” I mean, I know that God is doing something but i just wish i knew what it is! This (as you know my friend) is my question too. I pray and I wait and I wait and I pray but it seems that time and time again I hear crickets like out on the bayou….waiting to see what God has in store for us. What the next chapter for our family will hold and how on earth we are going to get there. Well, let me give you my answer… after hours, nay, nights of payer laying awake asking God what I’m missing or what I’m not doing that I should be… when God? when will You move? Well, the answer is…I don’t know. I know that’s not the answer you were looking for. In fact, you could have looked in the mirror and gotten that answer… yet again… but I thought about this long and hard today and here’s what I’ve come up with.
Knowing that we have a faith (sometimes I’m grateful that a mustard seed is all that’s required because it’s all i can muster), And knowing that God “can” do what ever He wants in our lives (which frustrates me because currently for what ever reason He “wont”), I have come to realize that I must look at it like a work of art.
Have you ever been to Las Vegas? (yeah, me either…wink…wink) when you walk down the street in certain places and there’s a guy there with a couple of cans of spray paint and some scraps of paper and he lays these scraps on a canvas and sprays. Then he moves them around and sprays, then he gets some old pocket knife and he scratches here and there then he sprays some more. A few people walk off because they haven’t got the time or inclination to see what this guy is trying to do but as you go to walk off, someone says, “trust me, stick around and see what this cat can do!” so, out of morbid curiosity, you wait. And for the longest time you are convinced that this is some abstract thing that a 6 year old could have completed until the last spray… he moves something from here to there, sprays over it and “BAM” it’s some far out picture. Completely identifiable and pretty stinking breath taking. Now suddenly, you’re impressed cause you and I both know that you or I will neither one will EVER be a spray can artist. Well, I wonder if that’s what’s happening in our lives right now? I wonder if God is moving shapes on our canvas from here to there and we don’t see any rhyme or reason for it. Maybe we are tempted to be that person in the crowd who walks off and doesn’t feel like they have the time or inclination to know what’s coming next but If we would just wait, wait to see what this cat can do… if we just hang in for a bit longer. A spray here and a scratch from an old pocket knife there… maybe our canvases will be breath taking and there will be beauty that we didn’t see coming.
This is what I’m hoping for my friend. I’ve seen what God can do. In my own life and in the lives of others…and I know that you have too! So lets just wait. Let me take you by the elbow and say, “wait, just watch what God can do!” I will pray for you… you pray for me… one of these days, we will see what it is that the Artist of our lives is doing and I bet it’s going to be spectacular.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Your Sister In Christ